Many divorcees have to take the guilt trip society or religion has imposed on them. Some may even continue living unhappily ever after because they don’t want to interrupt their children’s routines. Change is part of the natural cycle of life and children who learn to cope with change at an early age are stronger as adults. It’s good keeping your children safe but too much safety can also weaken their immune system. In other words, you should not delay your happiness and freedom to please your children. Although divorce can be a turbulent event for the whole family that doesn’t mean that the rainbow will never show up after the storm. Hang in there! A Thousand Oaks divorce attorney can help you adjust your sails to a happy destination.
Sometimes things can’t work, no matter how hard you try. Keeping the family together requires arduous effort and commitment. Even when you pour the hours and do everything you can to repair the relationship, you realize routine is the only thing holding the pieces together. There is no spontaneity in the relationship or ‘spark’ as some may call it. In such situations, it’s best going separate ways. Being apart can be the best thing for your family, especially for the children who suffer from seeing mom and dad arguing with each other day after day. Conflict is natural in every relationship but too much of it can drain your energy. If you sought professional help, attended counseling sessions with your spouse, and tried every way possible to reconcile your differences but nothing worked, perhaps it’s time to untie the knot. You will not hear bells or behold sparkling lights but peace will definitely fill every corner of your heart and home.
The divorce process is not always friendly yet it puts a stop to the conflict. Children will no longer have to breathe the hostile atmosphere when you and your spouse live in separate homes. They don’t have to take sides or listen to parental arguments. In fact, after taking a close look at many divorce cases, you will find out that parents may actually start agreeing when they live in separate homes. When parents are friendly after the breakup, children learn an important lesson about how relationships can end amicably or perhaps not end completely. When parents start acting more maturely, children will also start respecting them more and learn how to deal with problems in constructive ways.
Sometimes conflict in your relationship stops you from being the parent you wish to be. When you no longer have to focus on your marriage or a conflicting relationship, you will have more time and energy left for your kids. You will reconnect with them in ways you didn’t imagine possible and bond in new levels. Remember it’s not about the amount of time but rather the quality of time you spend with them. Kids need your undivided attention. Allowing them to play while you work on a project is not quality time. They need you to sit on the floor and assemble that toy truck or untangle barbie hair with them.
Nobody said it’ll be easy but focusing on the positive aspects of your divorce can be very advantageous. Remember your kids will eventually adapt and will love the idea of visiting different homes and meeting new friends. Children of divorced parents tend to have a deeper understanding of life and are more equipped to deal with conflict later on in life.
