How online affairs may lead to divorce

Law Offices of Stephanie L. Mahdavi A Professional Law Corporation Divorce

Virtual betrayals may not seem harmful but they can also break up a marriage. A spouse may start chatting periodically with someone online until they build a strong emotional connection.  Little by little emotions will start leaving the marriage until the online lover becomes more important. By now, you start fantasizing about the online date and the harmless friendship becomes a threat to the marriage. Online affairs are very attractive to users as there is no responsibility involved. It’s a dangerous fantasy as many online lovers like to keep their anonymity and you have no idea who they are. Contact a Thousand Oaks divorce attorney if your marriage has come to an end.

Red flags

Cyber cheating is not easy to detect but there are some warning signs you can look for:

  • Hiding devices – If you begin seeing cellphones, laptops, and iPods missing and hiding in someplace else, something is wrong.
  • Changing passwords – If your spouse has not changed his or her passwords in quite a while but now many accounts have new passwords and you don’t have access to them, that’s a huge sign.
  • Cleared inbox – People generally don’t have time to clear e-mails. If everything is clean, that means your partner took the time to delete something you may not want to read.
  • Excuses – If your spouse protests when you confront him or her about being on the computer a lot, chances are something is wrong.

How to cope

Although it’s possible to rebuild a relationship after trust has been broken, it’s important you seek counseling to appropriately address the problem. Therapy can help address some issues that are not clearly visible. A breach of trust can stir emotions and bring to the surface other emotional issues such as feelings of abandonment from childhood or any other unresolved issues you haven’t dealt with.


The cheater will have to admit he or she did something wrong in order to address the issue. There needs to me remorse and accountability taking place otherwise things will continue the same. But it will definitely become an issue if the spouse cheating doesn’t think an online relationship is an affair. A neutral person needs to come in the picture and explain how online betrayals can definitely hurt a relationship. Your partner needs to take some steps where you can have access to his or her online whereabouts.

Move on

If the cheater doesn’t want to address these issues, don’t become bitter. The pain will eventually heal and you will be able to trust again. Cheaters generally blame others for their actions. It’s a cycle that may never end. Get out of it before it’s too late. Remain optimistic and work on other unresolved emotional issues you may be struggling with.

Sometimes relationships can be rebuilt but sometimes they don’t. Contact a Thousand Oaks divorce attorney to deal with the legalities of this chapter in your life. It’s just a chapter and it’ll pass.

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